Occasionally however I have the time or inclination to come to the Midwest during the summer months. It is during this time that I am reminded why I do not like coming to the Midwest during the summer. In short, I'm allergic to it.
I'm allergic to the following:
things that grow
things that grow above ground
things with more than two legs
almost all of nature
I could go on, but it is probably easier to just say: I am allergic to America.
Having landed in America in that unfortunate time of year that is summer I am doing my damnedest to battle through it. I've gone to a pharmacy which here also doubles as a warehouse outlet where you can buy everything but drugs and acquired some Claritin. I've been taking two Claritin 24 a day. For the congestion and intense sinus headache I have some Afrin. For the painful splits in my lips from the constant sneezing, I have Carmex. And for the headache from all the drugs I have some Tylenol.
I am, at this point, a walking pharmacy.
It's a joy to be home in the Middle America. Fortunately I will leave this soon for the city proper where all I have to worry about is booze and cigarette smoke which, surprisingly, is better for me. If all goes well and I don't die I'll see sweet home Chicago in two days. I look forward to the lack of living things and the rise of the sweet tall buildings and free flowing anarchy.