Monday, February 10, 2014

Bitter

I was bitter about how cold it has been this winter. I could not stop thinking about it.

The cold drained something from me, made all my experiences static and kept me from moving forward somehow. I tried to find ways to cope with it, but there seemed to be no way to cope with it. It chased me away from shows and left me trapped in my house if only because in my house I could be warm.

Perhaps I had been sick. I hadn't been sleeping. My dreams were haunted by my past. I felt lost and without connection to myself or anything around me one minute. The next I felt as if I was nesting in hopes that soon, soon, soon, it will pass.

There was something so within about this winter. I wanted to escape from here, find some warm sunshiny place and go there and be free of it. The constant cold was an affliction of tired that I would not previously have allowed to have pushed me so far into a shell.

I was becoming isolated here. Quite. Alone.

None of these things were good. Plans.

Plans.

Thank the merry gods I was going to go to Hawaii to meet my beautiful love. The Artist would most definitely warm my bones. So would bloody Hawaii.

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