I am a fangril, it's true.
Not even having another person to hang out with would have a serious impact on the ridiculous amount of fangirl I could put out. I was there to see one bad in particular. I was excited to see exactly one band and this was the only band that mattered.
This band was one that I discovered in January of 2011, when life was slightly different than now. At the time I was working in Korea, working at a specific site with my own apartment and spending much of my free time enjoying carbs and visiting with the Irish and the appointed lady love at the time.
What a difference time made. Now, in January slightly three years later, I had lost both friends, moved back to Chicago, and felt constantly adrift between worlds. But the music went on.
The music didn't change. At least this was the comfort that I tried to offer myself as I stood with strangers who were now friends for the evening waiting for the band that I most desperately wanted to see.
All things change.
Wedding Dress was lovely if a bit too much on the hipster side for my tastes. Secret Colours were absolutely perfect and exactly what I wanted. This show would finish with the Suns, who were opening for the headliner Carbon Tigers. I can say, on reflection that the Carbon Tigers were very good. The reality, was though, that their performance was entirely overshadowed by the melancholy dark-rock beauty that is the Suns.
I was in love with voices and lead singers, and the Suns were no exception for that. The lead singer had this voice that managed to express so many feelings and emotions that I just wanted to drown in it. The lyrics spoke not only of heartbreak but heartmending the relationships between people; the passage of time and change, but also just a general reflection on the ennui of engagement at all. I adored it.
I was surprised when the band took the stage to see just how much the Suns had changed from the first time I had seen them, in the winter of 2011. Then I had caught a set they were closing for Bailiff, a very good Chicago band, but no Suns. At the time the band had two EPs, two drummers, and three guitarists. It was a big band, but a very good band, and the only thing that left me disappointed was the fact that the set had only been a half hour long.
Now, as they set up they were still with the guitars, but only one drummer among them. A sort of sadness set it, as they did things with drums that needed to be done, and things you could really only get when you had two extremely gifted drummers banging about on stage together. This, however mattered not. The lead singer, who a few years ago was muscular and bulky with short hair and clean shaven, was now a bit leaner, with a full beard, and longer hair. This was more a sign of the current times, fashion trends, and being within it.
The music, however, had not changed. The music was perfect. They preformed with the exact amount of fire and passion that their music required, and that voice. That voice was unmistakably exactly what was called for; lifting refrains up and down, dragging his listeners through a tract of melancholy before bring it forward and up again and giving a momentary glimpse of happiness and comfort before bringing it down again.
I was over the moon; I called out songs I knew they would not play but that I desperately wanted to hear live. One of the guitarists heard me shouting and smiled a most singular and coy smile. The smile of someone who knows that there is a fan, and is amused to realize that there is a fan all at the same time.
The set was perfect. Afterward as I stood drinking and talking I saw the lead singer on the floor behind me drinking and talking as the Carbon Tigers set up, and I couldn't help myself. In my most hilarious fangirl I launched myself at him and fawned over all the albums. I explained how I listened, how I had seen them before, how much they meant to me. And of course, I asked him to take a picture with me. At least I didn't ask him to sign my chest.
My fangirl, once unleashed, know no boundaries; but she could still—occasionally—be controlled.
I had a great deal of fun. I listened to Carbon Tigers while drinking and talking with Mr. Snowflake, but my night could not have been more perfect. We closed the bar at 2 a.m. and then wondered off into the cold night to work our ways towards our various sleeping places on all the different sides of Chicago.
Sunday, February 09, 2014
I am a fangril, it's true.