Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Acceleration

One thing that was certain from my last year is that my life changes accelerated. Aside from all the ups and downs personally, there were also ups and downs at work. Piling ontop of everything was a realization that I really just couldn't stay in New York anymore. How that was going to happen in a way that would allow me to keep my job I did not know.

I just new it needed to happen.

The city was draining on me. While there were things I liked I was so tired of feeling like I was constantly chasing something I could never have. Paying to have a lifestyle that was only comfortable but not satisfying. Feeling a constant sense of chase. It was so tiring.

After awhile I realized I wanted nothing more than to go back to Chicago. So I worked what very few angles I had, and lo, to Chicago I was allowed to return. However, there are always trade-offs for anything that one really desires. For me, I can call Chicago home again but the life on the road has accelerated. I'm on the road more than I am at home. There is a strangeness to it, sometimes feeling completely lost in translation.

People hear about my schedule and ask "Have you seen Up in the Air?"

This always makes me smile. But not for the reason that people think. Up in the Air is a rather bleak movie about someone who has a life on the road. However, there is some weird fascination with transience people has. Something that seems exciting. There is an excitement but there can come a point where even when you are comfortable with it, it can become very tedious. And lonely.

My life has some similarities, which is true, but it's not the same. I love and hate the travel, but right now being on the move when I can be is more fun that always being in the same place. Chicago or not.

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