When I was twelve or so I went on a field trip to New York city as part of the gifted program I was in. During the trip there were good things that happened and there were bad things that happened. I'm pretty sure the trip was a tipping point in the end of any potential relationship I might have ever had with the devil woman I lived with. I remember walking to the Empire State building, going up, having fun looking over the side. The secret desire that probably every child who has ever gone to the Empire state building to drop a coin off the side. It's hard to control the desire.
Going as an adult was different. Going alone was different. The line was not that long at the time I decided to go, as I did most of my trips sort of morningish to avoid big lines. It was amazing how much they have renovated the building to make it as green as possible, from electricity to heat and water. They have really carefully considered how to modernize. I found something wildly optimistic in that. I have changed so much since I last stepped out onto the observation deck, and clearly the building continues to develop and evolve. It made me feel as if the only thing that really prevents the potential for growth is a desire to stand still.
Anything can change if you have enough will to change.
The day was unusually warm, as was the entire week really. So I stood outside on the upper deck of the Empire State building on a balmy Christmas Eve day with temperatures in roughly the 60s and took my pictures over the Hudson and East rivers.
I listened to the tourists speaking a thousand languages on the deck, the Empire state building becomes a tour of Babel for all those that tour there. I was probably the only person there who actually live in New York who was visiting, but it felt right somehow. At that particular moment being a tourist in New York was more comfortable than being a resident and felt somehow more real.
As I worked my way down the through the variety of elevators one had to go through to get back outside it occurred to me that my little New York journey was a chance for me to change how I interacted with New York. It was a needed insight.
I went home and had wine on my roof as I watched the sun set. I felt more at home.