Saturday, November 03, 2018

The Andies

I am in love with the Andes.

If I have a choice of where I end, let it be the Andes. Something about the mountains there speaks to a part of the soul I can't express.

The peaks reach.

So.

Hi.

Each step more.

Go higher.

Be higher.

But.

Each.

Step.

Higher...

Higher.

Struggle in it.

Calm yourself.

Try to breath.

Chock on your effort.

But the mountains.

And.

The.

Mountains.

Rising up around, in a circle. You at the bottom.

In the valley look up.

Struggling.

Climbing.

Pushing forward.

But the mountains.

The struggle.

The Andes understand.

The Andes have been where you have been in.

The know.

Undewater drowning in the moment when you are nothing. Submissive to the...

And suddenly, forced up..pushed up...saved. This warm thing that brings you something like peace and you change and you move, and you think nothing of it.

Until flat surface boils in ways that make you terrified. Your are an explosion waiting to be. And then you are. Hot and cold and ash and gas, beautiful and terrible. Whole and destroyed. Rescued and changed.

The Andes understand.

They have been there.

Tengo calor.

Tengo frio.

It's always when I leave the Andes that I feel the most at home.



Leaving the Andes

I'm on a flight home from Peru and I'm stomach sick.

Two weeks in Peru and not once did I subcumb to that sickness.

At the tops of the mountains, when I was at the top of the world I felt it. I look out at an audience of 300 and I watched them worry as I might collapse.

I did not.

And I taught them.

I will not have been the most important moment in their life. But for an instant, like every audience, gasp, word, exclamation, raised hand, question, question, question, response...

They are my most important audience in history. In that time, and in that place. For 90 minutes I am the most important thing in the world to 90 poeple, and that makes it all okay.

That's what matters.

Sixteen days in country and not once sick, even in a moment when I had the most reason to be ill. I was all.

I was whole.

I was...me.

Enough for then, I suppose, but not enough really, ever in the end.

I'm on a home plane from Peru.

I'm on a way to home.

Somewhere ,there is a home.