Monday, April 16, 2007

Harder Next Time

My back was killing me. Literally quite painfully crawling it's way out through my shoulders blades. At first I suspected it was merely the stress of a long weekend, and too much time spent on a bus, but it started around Thursday long before the weekend the bus and I couldn't really place why I was in so much pain.

I blame Wednesday. On Wednesday I went to the gym to do my usual set. I was not in the mood for it and I could feel it on the entire walk. I was in the mood for the sunshine and the nice day. I was in the mood for the chirping birds and spring. I was in the mood for the kids skateboarding at the bell park. I was in the mood for relaxing with a smoke and maybe some scrabble. I was in the mood for the art studio. I was not in the mood for the gym ( and all the while in the back of my mind I have Gurney Halleck yelling at me "Moods a thing for cattle and making love, not [working out]." ) I went to the gym anyway because I'm disciplined and I could not convince my feet to take the alternative route home. I went to the gym because it's on my way and I had no real good excuse.

I got to the place and was a bit bitch. I went to change and there was a mother toweling off her five year old. The five year old stared at me naked and kept saying, "There is a foreigner, look look, it's like an alien." Great I think, this is exactly what I need to hear while I get naked and change into my gym clothes. I realize that she's five and I realize that I am indeed like an alien, and I realize that Mom is also telling her that it is rude and to say hello instead, but I already did not want to be in the gym. I changed, I plugged in my MP3 player, I turned it up extra loud on something hateful and throbbing in my ears and went to do my sets.

It was about a fifty pounds into it that my right arm started to tingle on the inside. When I got to seventy five I was loosing feeling, and at one hundred I damn near dropped the weights. I was freaking out. Aside from my arm I felt fine, but I was still freaking out and I couldn't feel anything. I wanted to call over the gym owner and ask what was wrong with me, but I'd hit my Korean wall and wasn't sure how to explain what was going wrong. So I threw in the towel quite literally, by going back to the changing room and after barely ten minutes in the gym, getting redressed to go home. I was still twitchy and on the verge of tears when I got back to my place. I did the only thing I could think to do. Said fuck it to my other regularly scheduled workout and ate something after seven which I very rarely do.

At some point it dawned on my that I was probably being a bit dramatic so I consulted with a very good friend of mine who conqured my less lunatic diagnosis of pinched nerve and figured that I needed to just chill the fuck out for an evening. While I did work out at home on Thursday and Friday I did not go back to the gym. However my back was killing me on Thursday morning.

So with today being Monday I decided it was high time I high tailed it back to the workout world and went to the gym. I was feeling alright today, the rain had finally stopped, and aside from my back I was fine. I changed up in an empty room today, turned my music on to something slightly less vitrolic, and went to do my sets. As soon as I started the first set I started to feel something other then pain. It was like someone had taken a hold of all the knots in my back and was pulling them out of my body and into that freaking weight machine. It was like sex, and kissing pretty girls, and mountain climbing, and Chicago pizza, and Glenn Livet, a cigarette, and a good book rolled into a machine that was resisting what I was doing. Merry gods did it feel good, and I wanted more. I was like an addict who had her first fix in years and it was good.

I pulled, I twisted, I turned, I tumbled, and lifted excessive amounts of weights in various positions using various body parts. I impressed the hell out of the trainer and scared the shit of the high school boys and I felt fucking fantastic. I walked home feeling lighter then air and high on adrenaline and thinking "yes, yes, oh, sweet goddess, yes, more, more, yes." I went home and worked out even harder and I felt fine, fine, my friends, I felt fine.

I suppose in the end all I can say was, I need that, oh very yes, my friends, I did.

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