Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Day After Christmas


"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me."

That was my reaction at five o'clock in the morning when I had a mosquito buzz my ear. A mosquito. On December 26th. A god forsaken Asian Tiger mosquito buzzing my head at five o'clock in the morning.

I did not have to look at my clock to know what time it is. Those buggers wake up and go for you between five and six a.m. I have had a great deal of experience with this in Korea. I know how these monster work. What bothered me was that these monsters were working in the middle of winter, in what is supposed to be the mosquito down period, the time when I can sleep through the night without worrying about waking up with bug bites. It's winter. Die. DIE you monsters, die!


I dive under the covers, pull them up over my head and sink in claustrophobic, carbon dioxide filling warmness for as long as I can stand it until finally I poke my head back out to breathe. I am incredulous in my rage at five a.m. I just want to sleep, please leave me alone.


"Motherless puss-bucket!"

That is when I started to feel the burning. On the arm near my elbow, in my big toe, on my pinky finger. I'd been hit. Three times by the count of the burning in my body. Three hits and they are still coming for me, how I do hate the Asian tiger mosquito. Already having feasted on me they keep coming because they want my face, the monsters.

"Tino! Here boy."

I call for my dog. He is sleeping soundly in the other room.

"Tino, come on puppy, come be mosquito food."

The dog wanders slowly and sleepily into the room and just sort of looks at me. I pat the bed, warm and welcoming. He gives me that look that says "do you KNOW what time it is" and yawns at me.

"Come on, good dog, come be a little hot-blooded distraction." The dog jumps into the bed and buries himself immediately under the covers and starts to snore. Deep under the covers; much too far under the covers because now the mosquitoes will continue to attack me instead of bothering him. He rolls over and snores louder. "Big help you are, monster." I whisper to him. He breaks wind and snores louder.

I give up and plop back down into the warm soft warm liquid comfort of my bed, sleep pulling at the edges and I feel myself drifting off ever pleasantly into the sweetest dreams and darkness.


"Slimy cock-suckers!" I rage and turn on the bedside light.

I spot one on the wall and kill it. Now I'm awake. I pull the curtains and spot another and kill it. I feel like a hunter in the morning, but now I'm all awake. I shake off the warmth of my bed and get up to go about my business get ready for work.

At least I got them, I think to myself as I have my coffee.

Work was long and dragging. It's the last week of school and unlike the US which would show movies and generally close down, in Korea we expect the kids to work through the last day. The kids have other ideas. The day is long and wearing, I have a sinus cold, the weather is to humid and warm for Christmas, not hot, but still not quite right. I workout, eat dinner, read my book in bed until finally I fall asleep, secure in the knowledge that I shall sleep through this night.

The city sleeps around me and it is all silence, and darkness, the dog snoring from his bed in the other room.


"Ah, she-bal-sekay-ya!"….I hate mosquitoes.

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