Saturday, January 24, 2009

That Moment

The problem with seeing this in concert is I cannot really totally describe my experience. I waited in front of the stage for four hours so I would have a good spot. I dealt with the press of concert people and random strangers to do it. I stood on an ankle that was throbbing with pain the whole time, and to make matters worse I'd popped a muscle in my back on the plane that was also making it difficult to turn my head. And with all of this going on, nothing can take away from how overwhelmingly mind numbing it was to see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

From his entrance over "Night of the Lotus Eaters" to his five minutes of standing on stage as Stagger Lee demanding that the entire audience suck his dick he was exquisite.

There was this pounding sensation this sense of total being. All moments boiling into that single moment. The preparation, the planning, the cost, the travel, the time, the waiting, all coming to the point where he walks on stage and takes up that microphone. Watching his skinny and aging person swing about as Lazarus, as a Heroine addict, as a Father, as a Lover, as a musical god. It became a pinpoint in which the entire world was right then, that space, that now. It was in it's moment the reason to keep taking in breath. One the speakers thrummed I could feel it radiate through my entire body, his words penetrating as cleanly and clearly as a scalpel and digging into all the feelings I have shed to his music over the decades. It was everything it needed to be for me and more.

The ending was bitter sweet vibrations of sound thrumming off nerve ending, pricking through my spine, the cold wind blowing across my body where minutes before it seemed like insanity had pressed against me. It was over and there was a single moment where it felt almost like empty, like the air let out of the tire, like the end of the world. All words, all things, the crowd chattering as it moves away.

I stood in front of the empty stage for a while just to be there alone with my muse, my thoughts, my desires, and my happiness in that single hour and a half in time. I asked myself if it was worth it?

I'm a fan of live music and catch it whenever I can. I have lots of favorite bands and I've managed to see some great acts live. But in some ways this was more than just the music it was the need to act and for me to be a part of myself in this way. It was selfish and complicit and I loved every second of it. And now the secret smiles when I listen to his music are more the sense of knowing that I managed to achieve this. That it was something I could do. I might see him again in concert and I'm sure if I did it would be just as fantastic but this was my  Concert Moment. That singular piece in time where you see just the right act in just the right minute and anything before or after will never overshadow.

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