Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Dentist Hates

Hyunshick, proprietor of the Lonely Hearts kept me up till 4am. After a bottle of wine or so with friends who were leaving I was feeling to be in bed round 1 in the am. So sitting with Hyun over tequila at 3am was not really in the cards. Aside from the fact that it makes me loopy when I'm up that late and tipsy/drunk, combined with the drugs I've been on for oral pain it makes me downright intolerable. I've probably lost several close friends to my most recent bout of drunk, drugged up, incomprehensible, typing. Someone, please, take away my keyboard to prevent drunk typing in the future.

Alas, while there is no way to make up for drunk typing there is also no way to make up for the insane hangover that followed me into Monday morning. Monday when I went back to see my dentist.

I get to the office climb into the chair and wait. The Korean assistants are all laughing at me. I feel damned shaky. I take Hyun's name in vain. Seems like the thing to do.

While sitting in the chair the dentist comes in. He asks me to hold the mirror. Being a good American girl I do not want to hold the mirror. I do not want to see the problem. You explain it I listen and nod. That is how this works. Instead he forces me to take up a mirror so I can watch as he prods the inflamed flesh that is encasing my wisdom tooth and causing me no end of pain.

"Best thing, dissect the flesh. You feel better in maybe two days. Okay, what you think?"

"Okay," I say.

"Okay, we have to put in some drug. Important. So you don't have pain."

"No pain good." I think, more drugs! YEE-HA.

I don't think it was until about five minute later when I'm sitting in the chair and twiddling my thumbs that I start to wonder what I have said okay to. Dissect? My face? Can't be good.

A few minutes later some nice giggling Korean dental assistants come back and put things over my head and I promptly fall asleep, black out, or repress whatever they did. All I can recall is the smell of burning flesh and my desire not to know what was going on.

A few minutes later the dentist comes back and insists I look in the mirror again while he asks me to see. All I can see is blackened flesh. In my hungover state I try no to think about it. He says they will do the dissection now. I thought the ten prior minutes of playing around in my jaw was the dissection, apparently not so.

He leaves and the Korean assistants come back. And now, after the Novocaine and everything else they start to do things that actually hurt.

"Appyao?" asks the Korean assistant.

"Nay." I struggle to blurt out with my open mouth.

"Ma-knee Appyao?" she asks again. I cringe into my seat. Yes, it hurts a lot, thank you for asking could you please FUCKING stop.

A few seconds later she grabs my shirt by the collar and pulls me into sitting position. All I can see are stars. I can't be sure if it's the massive hangover, the Novocaine, or the pain. One or all are making me completely incapable of dealing.

"Okay, you go."

And she hands me my jacket and bag. It takes me three minutes to stand up. I know I was on a lot of drugs in reflection because I walked home in the minus 5 weather with 10 mile an hour winds and didn't realize that was bad idea. I got home, said hi to the dog and thought immediately, "Maybe bed would be a good idea."

I woke up two hours later and prepared for the next forty hours of teaching. Maybe I should have mentioned to the dentist before he cut out the chunk of skin over my tooth that I had to spend the next week talking for a living. It probably would not have helped.

This week has been painful.

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