Monday, October 25, 2010

Business Wearing

It's business wear again.

When I flew across the seas and back to Korea I took with me roughly the same wardrobe I had in New York. It's comfortable, it works, it goes from day to night or night to day or school to home. Most of my days are spent school to home anyway, so it doesn't really matter. What matters is that I have something to wear on a daily basis.

Oddly, I find myself dressing in the morning and I think of you. I wonder, since for the short time in New York there were only so many things you could have seen me in. With my limited wardrobe I was limited. I wonder if you saw the limits. Was there more there? Did you look for more? Was the more there to inspire you? I had so little. When I saw you I thought you must think I am so boring, with so little interesting, entertaining or new. Yet...and yet...we had the wine...we had the night view of the city, I suppose.

Korea seems strange in my limited wardrobe. I dress in the morning and think about what it was that I wore that you liked best. Was there a favorite among the few pieces you managed to see? Or would you have preferred me disrobed and in your arms? There is that, also, as that outfit offered perhaps the best entertainment, and deepest satisfaction for us both.

In Chicago, when you came to see me I felt just as limited. Even though my boy helped me back, and even through my excitement, I felt limited by my outfits. Would there be anything to entertain you in my small suitcase, or would I have to win you over with my charming personality. Again, I thought perhaps you had so much more. And perhaps not. Maybe it was just being near that inspired so much.
Maybe we just had too much us for too many days.

Maybe we didn't have enough.

I look at my limited wardrobe and I think of you undressing me with your eyes in a bar. I think of my life and the closet that I haven't seen in seven months and won't see for at least another four.

I think of my limited wardrobe and wonder how it is that I have managed to be so unlimited within its confines.

I think of it, and I think of you, and you, and you, and all of you.

I think of it all.

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