Wednesday, June 22, 2011

House Party, Part 4: Dr. Pepper, Tequila, and the Devil

Moxy was still under my arm and felt comfortable there. She occasionally took breaks and slipped away to answer messages on her phone. Doomhammer and I were talking and remarked on the party foul that was currently being committed by Titan.

“What is that?” asked Moxy.

“A Coke.”

“Oh no.”

“Uh-uh, no.”

“I don’t like the taste of alcohol that much.”

“What do you want to drink?” asked Doomhammer, as always a gracious host.

“I don’t know.”

“If you name a cocktail I’m sure we can make it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you like sweet or sour?”

“Really, I’m not trying to be difficult, I just don’t know.”

“Okay stop. What do you like to drink? I mean, not alcohol, but what do you just like to drink?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Cola, I guess. I like Dr. Pepper.”

I look at Doomhammer. “Dr. Pepper.”

“We don’t have any Dr. Pepper.”

“No, I mean we could make him a Dr. Pepper.”

“But we don’t have any Dr. Pepper.”

“You don’t need Dr. Pepper. It’s a cocktail; it taste just like Dr. Pepper.”

“Don’t you have to light that on fire?” asked Stella.

“The fire is useful and important,” I supplied.

Doomhammer consulted his phone for a recipe and then disappeared for a moment before returning, grabbing bottles and liquors.

“Do we need fire?”

“No. I found another recipe; we no longer need fire.”

As so Doomhammer mixed up a Dr. Pepper that was composed of roughly the following:

1½ shots of amaretto

½ can of beer

A can of Coke

Pour carefully to reduce the amount of head in the drink. Or. spoon the head out. Sip. You have Dr. Pepper.

“What do you think?” I asked Doomhammer.

“Tastes like Dr. Pepper to me.” I tried it and had to agree. We passed the drink around and finally it landed in front of Titan. We all watched with bated breath. He drank. He kept talking.


“Well what?”

“How is it?”

“Oh, it’s good. Yeah. It’s really good.”

Doomhammer and I shared a smile. He liked it; he really liked it.

I made myself another tequila with a shot of lemon juice and ice. Moxy had another Jack and Coke and Boring followed along. We began to enjoy the slippery slide, smiling and giggling.

The Molester took pictures around the table and we giggled at him.

“We know what you are doing.”

“What?” he asked.

“Stop taking pictures of everybody’s breasts.”

“What? I’m documenting for posterity.”

“Seriously, my breasts? If you were going to take a picture of me it should be of my ass.” I said.

“Well I haven’t been able to get over there yet.”

“I’ll do it!” Fresh Ms. Moxy grabbed the camera and I posed for her to get a picture of my bottom.

“Oh yeah!”

The Molester was amused and tried to capture Stella who protected herself valiantly against his advances and his charms. People returned to the table and Mr. Jelly Belly became less of a prop and more ofan interloper on the evening with the squiggly snake joining in the fray.

“Look I’m going to come.” The Molester crouched over the table. Wrapped around his head was the wiggly snake from Mr. Jelly Bean's leg. He grunted and groaned and squeezed his fist until finally with a whoop of triumph the snake's head popped off. The Molester screamed and rushed to collect his snake.

“Look, I made the eyes pop off!”

The squishy plastic eyes became a weapon, first aimed at Moxy. She grabbed them up and shot them back and another round of kitchen fighting began. “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.” I reminded them.

Moxy was under my arm again, warm. My hand was on her back. Boring was nearby. He had been moving closer and closer and closer all evening. Still not willing to share, not willing to discuss what it was about his relationship that bothered him. His intentions were as clear as if they were a neon sign over his head. I was amused. The Jedi moved in behind him and started to give Boring a shoulder rub, which he relaxed into and enjoyed. The Jedi had deft hands, a quirky smile on his face, and a wink for me.

My amusement became more palpable by the minute. I captured Moxy's wrist and asked her about her tattoo.

“It’s the green man.” she said.

This seemed very appropriate to me. She tole me the story of how she came by it. I asked if she had anymore and she listed the places where her tats could be found.

“I have a fetish for licking tattoos.”

Her eyes were all smiles.

The Molester continued to try and capture pictures. Moxy slid her hand into my hair and pulled. I pulled hers back. We had a hair-pulling competition that was nothing but warm charm. The Molester was transcendent. The Jedi continued to work on Boring’s back. Boring had the stupid grin of a 20-year-old seeing two adult women touch themselves in the most wonderfully public way. I knew that silly grin, having being the bringer of the stupid look far too many times. I am a concentrated point of delight.

“Ms. Devil how do you do it?” asked the Balance.

“Do what?”


“I’m not doing anything.”

“Leave her alone; she's just been standing there all night,” chimed in Stella.

The Balance, however was not so easily dissuaded.

“No, I want to understand this; explain it to me.”

“I’m really not doing anything!” And Ms. Moxy slid back under my arm, her hand around my waist, her head on my shoulder.

“Really?” The Balance wasn't buying it for a second.

What was I doing? Honestly? I simply did what came most naturally and didn't question it. At the moment what came naturally was the desire to lick Ms. Moxy's ear. I didn't have an agenda, I just let it happen and watched where it went.

Agendas were quickly developing, though. With each warm breath of Moxy in my neck I found myself sliding further and further into that devilsh place that always ended in the most incredulous and fiendish of my stories.

The Jedi was still working on Boring's back as Moxy and I begin to whisper potentialities into each other's ears. Finally we agreed upon what we were are up to; we just needed a moment. Moxy disappeared. A whisper, then a command to Boring, and then I was gone as well.


LordJerith said...

ooooooo! Cliffhanger!

Maladaahn said...

Agendas were quickly developing though...

This is all too priceless!

Saradevil said...

@LordJerith A good house party is always a cliffhanger.



Moxy said...

I am left wondering what happened, only realizing shortly after that I know exactly what transpired. It's really like reading a fantastic book once you've seen the movie. The understanding becomes a depth you cannot reach with the cinematic aspect. My insides are melting.

Saradevil said...

I make the effort to turn people to goo. There is something different about writing it and reading it, than living it. I may interject more depth or less, but the results, either way, is a stronger memory of the reality, and a interesting introspection on the event.

Moxy said...

I eagerly await more.