Tuesday, June 21, 2011

House Party, Part 2: Flirting and Jelly Beans

“Actually, I have a question for you two girls. What do you think about flirting? Is it okay? Do you like it? What is it about flirting?”

It was an interesting question and one I couldn’t answer with any real clarity. Moxy provided some personal insight into her own relationship with flirting, which could be summed up as, ‘I don’t mind as long as I am in control of it.’ When the question turned to me for an answer I had to be honest about my inability to answer.

I couldn’t tell anyone if I was for or against flirting because in reality I didn't consciously flirt with people. I never set out to flirt or make an effort to flirt. I would have a conversation and sometimes those conversations become more heated in good or bad ways than I would anticipate, but I didn't usually start off with a desire to make that happen. I saw flirting as something that required desire or intention. And honestly I didn't engage people in that way. I was rather of the opinion that life was a mystery and whatever happened would happen, in conversation or otherwise, and I rolled with it.

The Bard was looking for a good reason to have a smoke break. The Balance and a few others offered to go as well, and the Balance wanted to continue with a conversation started earlier relating most exclusively to one Boring and his relationship drama.

“Okay, how about this? I’d like to get the opinion of the Bard and Ms. Devil (always when the Balance says it is sounds like Deville). I know you’ve told it twice, but let’s tell it one more time for them.”

Boring smiled. And sat there. Both the Bard and I could see that he thought he was charming and handsome. He believed that charm and looks and some talents on a computer game were all he really needed to be successful. Because of this belief he responded to the Balance’s request with a “No.”

“I’m not going to push you, but I think you would appreciate their advice.”

“No. I already know what they're going to say anyway.”

The Bard and I exchanged a raised eyebrow. In that instant the Bard was done with Boring and I no longer really cared about him. For the rest of the evening Boring was nothing but closed lips, a wan smile, and a vapid attempt at social interaction, which was only compounded by being in a place where everyone else was willing to discuss their life and secrets with intimacy. When you are surrounded by people who will share about their relationships, their lives, their trials, their successes, their failures and shortcomings, it is impossible to talk to someone who won’t.

The Balance and the Bard and others went off for a smoke and I was left with the Gamers. Those vVv people! The problem with suddenly being left with Gamers was that I had nothing to contribute since I didn't play games. I tried to follow the conversation, which included incredulity at playing games like Delta Force, or admission of hours spent playing Starcraft, Halo, or Call of Duty. I had got nothing, since the last time I spent anything like hours gaming it was a game called Betrayal at Krondor and I hacked it. (I also like Tetris.)

The rest of the gang returned, and some discussion of the inability of Mr. Jelly Belly (a blow-up Jelly Belly doll sitting on top of the water cooler) ensued. The Molester found a plastic squishy snake to wrap around it, and soon Mr. Jelly Belly was dressed more inappropriately than before with the snake wrapped around his leg.

Mr. Jelly Belly was sitting in for the Cowboy, who was off doing his musical. Mr. Jelly Belly was helping to add entertainment, and despite everyone’s best efforts he continued to jump off the water cooler throughout the evening.

We continued our chats, describing our interests and talents.

“Back to relationships,” said the Balance.

“No,” from Boring.

“What about you Ms. Moxy? What happened to yours?”

“It’s pretty simply really. I’m a strong woman. There is a line where it can go too far and not far enough. He couldn’t figure out the line.”

“You sound like my girlfriend,” said Boring.

“Really? How so? Why don’t you tell us about your girlfriend?” I said.

“I…no.“

“You almost had him that time,” said the Jedi.

Almost. Boring was too reluctant. Thinking that we all understand him too well and think it tedious to discuss; he thought we were making fun of him with our advice and chastisement about his age and his youth. This was a sadness because he was missing the larger point. The Balance didn't start a discussion without a purpose, and his purpose here was really quite clear. He wanted to bring deeper reflection and understanding, to introduce a skill through which one could learn from themselves and their actions. Boring was closed down to it; perhaps because of his youth or stubborn male ego. Boring silenced himself, and in so doing created bigger walls.

The Balance put in a request for a song from the Bard, who promised that it would be filled at some point in the evening. Some gaming emergencies cropped up, and people refilled drinks. As alcohol flowed a bit, we all loosened our tongues more.

Boring continued to be boring, but the evening was becoming by the minute more and more exciting.

6 comments:

LordJerith said...

Dear. . . you really have out done yourself with this one! Brilliant.

Saradevil said...

It gets better or worse depending on your definition of better or worse. It's still not over....

Maladaahn said...

Captain Jelly Belly Says:

Wow...

Moxy said...

I am dying for it to be finished, let's not keep me waiting. IT could be detrimental to your health, my dear.

Saradevil said...

Foreplay never killed anyone.

Maladaahn said...

Roll Tape...