Friday, May 11, 2012

What is a Ninja Wedding?

Almost a year ago (but not quite a year ago) I had met the Electrician, whoamong other misguided adventureshelped me to appreciate electricity and enjoy my first time shopping at IML. Good times were had all in all. Despite some fits and stops I had really wanted to at some point introduce him to the Bard. While they had met several times before, it had always been distracted meetings, thwarting my plans to get them to really TALK to each other. Then, I had a bit of a going-away again party last July and finally the pair was able to really meet. (Meet and stay up all night talking after I'd passed out on the couch.)

I left the next morning, and they went on a date the next weekend, which started on a Friday and ended sometime around the following Friday. (Not quite that long but you get the idea.) They had been damn near inseparable ever since. One night in Korea, during an evening chat with the Bard and the Electriciansince I spend way too much time online and on messengerthey both (at roughly the same time) indicated they had something to tell me. There was a bit of hemming and hawing until the great reveal.

“Wer'e getting married,” said the Bard.


“But you have to be here. So come home,” said the Electrician.

This started the months-long debate of how to schedule a trip in a way that would accommodate a wedding. Originally the plan was for me to go home in April, but things changed with the book fair (business flights rule!), leading a change in plans to a May wedding. This gave all the parties plenty of time to file paperwork and make plans. Once plans were made, I headed up to Chicago on a Friday where the Bard and I went shopping for something for me to wear at the weddingsince a black dress didn’t seem right, and given that she would be wearing a dress it seemed inappropriate for me to wear jeans.

We spent about an hour and a half putting me in outfits before she finally settled on a cute little pink-and-yellow sundress, which went perfectly with my Doc Martin boots. I got stockingsthis time stockings that would not fail when put to the use that the gods intendedand a small thin cover up, being May and all in Chicago.

That night we had a nice dinner, laughed, talked about the drama I had left behind me in Korea (between the soon-to-be Ex and the Irish), and had some nice wine before passing out in preparation for the big event the next day. The company included medriving down with the happy couple and the best manone photographer, and the Priest.

The Priest was a friend of all of us and a member of the local club. He was certainly not your run-of-the-mill priest, being both well-educated, extremely broad-minded, and absolutely willing to defend the variety of life choices against the often ridiculous imposed bigotry of small-minded biblical interpretations. My contribution for the Priest was helping the Bard find the most perfect wedding gift for him as part of the payment for the services. On a chat preparing for the wedding, she had mentioned she needed something, and I knew just the place. More on that later.

When we got up that morning, we also needed to prepare the house a bit for the guests to return and eat. The Chef and her fiancé helped with that. The Chef would be cooking a low-country boiled seafood feast for us to enjoy after the ceremony. The wedding party was quite small because, as we had learned, it was going to have to be a ninja wedding.

Chicago has a lot of beautiful parks, and while they are nice, they also like to have people pay money to use them for things like a marriage. Now, the park we were going to for the ceremony was in the beautiful  Hyde Park neighborhood. Promitory Point overlooked the city and the lake. It was gorgeous, green, growing, and a great place for a wedding. In fact, it was so great that the city of Chicago charged a mere $4,000 to hold a ceremony there. Somehow it seemed pretty certain that was not going to work out. The plan that was hatched was to sneak in, perform the ceremony, and be in the cars on our way back out before anyone handed us a bill for four grand. Good plan.

The Bard and I worked to get the table for four ready to accommodate a party for eight plus, which included strapping a board to the table shibari style and adding weights to keep it from toppling over. Once the table was secured using our ninja-shibari rope skills we all got dressed up and ready to go. The only concernaside from getting in and out of the park before being discoveredwas that the weather would hold off on raining. So far it was a cloudy morning but now there was rain.

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