Thursday, February 07, 2013

Staying or Going or Staying

The last few days had been nothing but the conversation that I have mostly wanted to avoid but couldn't avoid any longer.

Do I stay or do I go?

Mostly this had to do with Korea; it also had to do with opening my own business and whether or not I wanted to stay in the business I was in. Mostly I wanted to keep doing what I was doing, but maybe I would be happier doing it elsewhere. At the same time it was not a decision that I alone could make. It's one I would make in conjunction with the Boy and since the boy was on the ground there had been many a discussion.

It was looking more and more like the odds were in favor of expanding the roots and settling further into Korea. This had pros and cons. The pros were that I at least knew what I was doing here. The cons were that, well, everyone and their monkey in the States would throw a harangue at me.

(You people all need to visit me, anyway.)

One way or another decisions were going to be made.

It was funny to think about it, some eleven years later. I knew a lot of people who had made a life here, and to be sure I could make a worse life somewhere else. I liked Korea, I liked the work I was doing, and I had a pretty good balance of weird here. Could I make it work out? That was the question.

The business itself, that would have to change. Things could not continue the way they were now with me ending up happy in the end. Someone was going to be made unhappy, but that someone would most certainly not be me. In the meantime I would continue to explore additional options, not the least of which was a career switch that would put my educational interests in more of a corporate setting. I was entertaining the idea, but was not sure if it would be the right thing for me.

Who could know?

If you had asked me in 2002, after I got off the plane, if I would still be in Korea in 11 years, I'd have told you no. If you asked me right now, I would tell you no, but we would see how long that held to be true.

Staying...

Going...

Staying....

Going...

My mind was spinning back and forth on it. I had no decision, no made-up mind. It was all thinking, and playing, and finding ways to make things work.

There were worse countries to live in.

There were worse lives than mine.

At least the wine was good here.

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