Monday, April 15, 2013

My Ridiculous Nick Cave Thing

I was almost back at a state of balance, and that meant more writing, which would help the balance. However, it amused me that when it was posted that Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds would be livecast from Coachellaand it just happened to be going on during my lunch breakI had to watch.

What follows is the resulting chaos that ensued. If I could not be at Coachella in person, this was truly, the next best thing.

This is what took place over forty-five minutes and a closed to everyone but my very, very near and dear friends, on facebook:

  • Nick Cave, Right now. http://www.youtube.com/coachella, I have no words, my entire freaking body is melting.
  • Wow, I forgot just how arousing watching Nick Cave in concert is, I don't think I can stand up for a few minutes. Oh yeah, give me a minute. Sweet mercies, give me a minute.
  • I might have to take a little trip to the Little Girls Nick Cave worshiping room. Sweet mercy.
  • FROM HER TO ETERNITY....panties dropped. I'm out. Shit, I have to work for four more hours. This is not going to go well.
  • And now he is doing RED RIGHT HAND. I am so going to have to fly to Slovenia and touch myself in concert.
  • Yes, Nick, yes, SING IT LIKE THAT! DON'T STOP!!!!!
    •      Q: You should not be allowed in a public forum
    •      SD: He is touching me in places with his voice. Literally touching me.
  • I will do anything you say, Mr. Cave. Anything. "JACK THE RIPPER!!!!!!!!" I'm gonna wish I had brought a change of panties to work.
  • Watching me play piano is like watching Nick Cave play piano, only when Nick does it, apparently you pants turn to molten lava!
    •      C: Wait his pants turn to lava? Or spectators' pants turn to lava? 'Cause I would not be so sure you didn't have the same impact.
    •      SD: As, I recall, you weren't wearing pants.
    •      SD: And that sounded much dirtier than I meant, but I think you were in one of those sundresses.
    •      SD: And I'm just gonna stop digging this hole.
  • Oh my fucking God, Nick just took of his jacket and jumped into the audience. Someone, someone, teleport me to L.A stat. And he is singing MOTHER FUCKING STAGGER LEE!!!! You don't even know. You DON'T EVEN KNOW!
  • NONONONONONONON FUCK YOU INTERNET, DO YOU NOT CRASH ON ME DURING MOTHER FUCKING STAGGER LEE!
  •  Apparently watching me watch Nick Cave has upset my co-workers. I miss working from home. Granted, my flatmate would probably not approve of the things I'd have had to do on the couch during lunch.
  • I GOT IT BACK. And good night nurse, sweet Nick Cave.
  • There is something about the way Nick Cave says get down on your knees and "suck my dick" that makes you want to make that happen. Oh yeah.
  • Alright Nick, you have ten minutes. What can you do to me in ten minutes?
  • MERCY SEAT!!!! Yes, yes, yes, I will sit on your Mercy Seat. It is waiting, and I do think my head is burning. Also, if I rub my legs together anymore I'm gonna have holes in my jeans.
  • Yes, the wind is blowing against Nick Cave as he sings the Mercy Seat, and yes, yes, I am probably going to get fired if anyone realizes what I am doing over here....drool.
  • Okay, is it sexual harassment to make your co-workers watch you watching Nick Cave? If so, I'm in trouble. And yes, I did just make them all gather around my computer while I watched Mercy Seat.
  • Okay, I had enough time to watch the entire set, I have to skip the encore, but I also need to clean myself up before I go train some teachers.
  • That, my friends, was the best Nick Cave set ever, and I just barely had enough time to watch it. Sorry I didn't keep you all posted about watching it though, hard to keep up with Nick Cave, you know.
  • The person whose lesson I am watching just asked for some background music. You have no idea how hard it was for me not to play Nick Cave.
  • If you hear Nick Cave a rockin, don't come a knockin. No seriously. I suggest just backing away.

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