Monday, April 29, 2013

Never Have I Ever

The game that I was introduced to over my special dinner/time-of-the-month dinner was Never Have I Ever. This game was introduced by Polka Dots, the South African girl who was also joining our dinner for the first time. The Irish and the Geisha were all cuddled up and practically living in each others' eyes, hardly aware of what was going on at the rest of the table. Our resident new man in uniform, the Hasher, was hanging in a kilt and trying to not-so-politely hit on anyone. We had a few new people and were doing a great deal to make small talk when the game was introduced.

"Do you know how to play?" she asked.

"Nope." She explained the rules.

"All right, so first you start by making a statement that begins with "Never have I ever." For example "Never have I ever had dinner in this restaurant."  If you have done it, you take a drink. If you have not done it, you don't take a drink. If you are drinking with others, than you move on. If you are the only one drinking, then you have to tell the story."

In the back of my mind this seemed like a bad idea.

People went around taking turns, calling out a variety of Never-have-I-evers, which amused the mostly new crowd and worked as a nice way to get to know each other more. I bounced around the table and talked to Quatermain about his evening and his girl, and bounced back and forth, only occasionally trying to engage the Irish and the Giesha in a conversation with someone/something other then their eyesmostly to no success.

As we wrapped up eating our food it was time to head out to our afterbar, where we could let our hair down and have better drinks. Like of the espresso martini variety. I was all set. At the afterbar our Never Have I Ever game tried to get a little more ludicrous, but what one has to understand is that this crowd was mostly in attendance at a rope-bondage workshop not a few weeks ago, and so was hard to find a way to one-up what has actually been done in a way that would force someone into a story.

"You can also target people," suggested Polka Dots.

I'm sure you could, but we were still new enough that targeting fun stories was out of the question, mostly. The Irish had some fun dragging a few choice stories out of me. It left me wondering how it was that I had come to have so many terribly tawdry tales, but then, well, my life is anything but boring.

We kept talking and that night took on that sort of sultry feeling where everything and anything is potentially possible. It hit that sparkly moment like light shining off of rain-covered windows: quiet, beautiful, full of promise.

Polka Dots was sitting next to me for some reason (I wasn't sure why). Then she giggled.

"And yes."

She covered her mouth and giggled again.

"Yes?" Now I was asking in a way that I could feel in my feet. My Spidey-sense was tingling.

"Oh nothing, talking to O" Who had not shown up for my party. I was miffed.

"And where is he?"

"Still at the toga party." I yawned; how droll.


"Oh." She smiled and showed me her phone.

O: How is it going?
Polka Dots: Well. I think Sara is trying to seduce me.
O: I think you should let her.

It was the phrasing that was my undoing. I do hate being accused of trying to seduce anyone. I don't try. You either do or do not. If I set my mind to a seduction I am not going to screw that up. Never have I ever been accused of not knowing how to get into a girl's pants when I want to.

I looked at Polka Dots.

"I'd like to kiss you now." While it was a request, it was also a demand, a command, and all the authority of my voice that I can muster and thrown into a whisper in someone's ear. 

She nodded.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes." And with that I took her breath awayrather on purposewith a deeply passionate kiss that left her more than a little interested. I sat back and smiled, thinking to myself trying...hmpf when she leaned over and kissed me.

This was not going to end well. And of course, it didn't.

Fifteen minutes later we sat back down in front of the table of rather amused, smiling, onlookers...

"Never have I ever had sex in this bar."

We exchanged glances.

And sipped our drinks.

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