Monday, August 05, 2013

The 9 O'Clock News

I had just gotten off the train and been picked up and taken home. My love was chattering about and as we pulled up to the house he asked me how my day was; around the same time he mentioned that he had only just gotten up and the dog had not been walked.

“Love, take the dog for a walk and I’ll tell you about my day when you get back, okay?”

It being agreed, he hopped back into the car, and I walked into the house. Being that it was a warmish June afternoon, I did the only thing that one would normally do on a June afternoon: took off most of my clothes, grabbed my favorite hanging-out big shirt, a glass of wine, and my computer so I could watch some TV.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Mind you, when wearing a big shirt to beat the heat, generally one does not wear much else, and so the reality was that I was in my big shirt and my panties, sitting on my couch, enjoying my wine and watching my TV. That was when I heard a rather large and nasty clap of thunder.

“Huh, storm is coming,” I thought to myself, having not checked the weather today.

Another big clap and I decided I had better get up and shut the windows.

Now, see, I was watching the TV on my computer, and so I just figured that I would take the computer with me since it was portable. As I walked into the main room, what I noticed as I looked out the window was that the rain was starting to fall. Unfortunately it was not falling down. It was rushing horizontally across the lawn and the brush across the street.

“Oh.”







“Fuck.”



I grabbed the computer and dashed to the basement, just as the sky got about seven shades darker. I heard a huge crash, more lightening, thunder, and the sound for all the world of a train rushing by. There I was, fairly sure that a tornado was touching down in my backyard, hiding out in the glow of my computer as the lights crashed out, and not thinking very clearly.

I listened to the wind overhead, wondering if it was in fact a tornado.

Then I started to wonder if I was safe.

Then I started to think about whether or not the house might come down on top of me.

Then it dawned on my that I wasfor all intents and purposesstanding about in nothing but a shirt and panties and I was very quickly about to become one of those people on the 9 o'clock news rescued in their bra and panties.

As the wind passed, I decided that as soon as possible I needed to at least get myself in some pants.

About ten minutes later I was in pants and realized that I had sent my love out into the storm and that it was headed his way. This lead to me making a dozen phone calls to a dead phone. I started to freak out pretty quickly after that, and the only thing that kept me from jumping on my bike to try to find the Boy was the Irish, who I was chatting up online.

“Do you even know what park he is in?”

“No.”

“You have pants now?”

“Yes.”

“Sit, drink wine, wait.”

And that is what I did. Until the car pulled back into the driveway and I went running straight after it to find my love. Together we assessed the damage, and tornado or not, it had done a bit, cutting in half a tree in our backyard that destroyed the fence between our yard and our neighbor's yard and pulled down the power on practically the entire block.

Everyone was safe, although we were without power for four days.

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