Monday, September 09, 2013

Last Meals

So many things happened in the last month, that I can barely contain them all. I want to spill it all out so I don't forget, so that as the memories fade some of them stay fresh forever, so I can stumble through my own writing and find them and smileand maybe weep, but mostly know that there it was at some point and that it is okay.

After calling her twice in the last week crying, the Artist insisted I spend my last night in Korea at her house. I was hesitant as she had only just managed to rid herself of a rather overstayed housepest.

"You and your husband need some time," I said to her on the phone.

"He insists you come too."

I ate in Seoul, had lunch with a friend and met her later for dinner. We went to a small quiet French restaurant, the quiet being a big part of the experience. We did not want to be disturbed.

"I can't order; it's been too much, too stressful," she said.

"Then I will take care of it," I replied. "I am not going to be stressed today."

So I ordered us a dinner and a very expensive bottle of wine to share. We had lamb and foie gras and wine and we smiled and talked and tried not to think about tomorrow. We walked hand in hand to a cab and toward her home. The cab (of course) screwed us on the driveincreasing our levels of stressbut we managed to let it go and go to her place.

I wanted to love her, kiss her, hold her and never let her go, and yet we were both so tired and strung out that the best we could do is fall asleep in each other's arms. We woke in the morning to kisses and holding our soft bodies together. I buried my head in her waist, feeling my arms wrapped around her. I told myself over and over again, we will see each other again, again, again, again... Yet I was very aware of how time passes now, how things will move and change.

Life.

I took a shower, skipping the workoutmy mind is too frazzled for it and I will work out again soon enough. While I showered she started some breakfast. We both laughed and giggled at her husband on the couch, who had been turned into a comfortable dog bed by my suddenly very calm puppy. Something about her place has eased his panic and for the first time in a week he is not shaking, he is just perched up on a shoulder and restful.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I've got coffee for you, and I'm making some vegan sausage." I didn't complain. I smiled as I watched her move about her kitchen, putting together a breakfast we can both enjoy. Hers had a fried egg. Mine was composed of cheese, vegan sausage, Thai basil, bell pepper and some sort of Argentinian sauce that she is fond of.

And coffeeof course, always coffee.

I ate, and we talked and smiled, and didn't think about the day. Later she walked me to my train anddespite all Korean conventionwe kissed goodbye on the platform.

I will see her again, again, again...but I will miss her like hell for a while.

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