Thursday, December 12, 2013

Let the Suicide Girls Begin. Or the Games. Take Your Pick.

After my photos, cameras were swapped and the boys got in and got their photo taking on. Afterward, we were escorted via strange back exits down to the bar and coat check, where we would pick up the rest of our swag later. I dropped off my coats, waved goodbye to the awkward wankers, and headed toward the bar.

At first I considered sitting at a table, but the table rules at the House of Blues were a little more than ridiculous: you had to pay to sit down. Being someone who didn't mind stage squatting, I didn’t see that in my near future, so I found a spot on the stage and decided that would be my home for the night.

The show was sold out, but to stand near the stage was a slightly more expensive ticket, so in the end it was crowded but not insane. I ended up next to a cute lesbian couple on one side and a short Asian chick on the other side. Mostly I was not paying attention, as the show was on the stage. And I had a front row seat.

And what a show.

The opening act came out and I thought they did it well. I’ve seen a lot of burlesque shows, some done better than others.

As the curtain rolled back we were treated to the cute redhead Star, wearing 7-inch glass platform heals, ruffle panties, and a blue lingerie corset wobbling about on a stool and clumsily taking off lace gloves while turning and shaking her bum at the audience. The crowd cheered. I was sort of puzzled. It lacked a whole lot of talent so surely, surely…

Then there was a cracking whip and all the rest of the Suicide Girls came on stage, chasing off the clumsy red headed dancer under the strains of Björk's "Army of Me". It worked really, really well to set the girls up as badassed, no-holds barred burlesque dancers with more of a hard edge. They were, after all, the Suicide Girls. Known for their tats, their piercings, their weird hair, and their attitude, and all of this they brought very well to the stage.

The redhead came back after the song ended to meet and greet and announce for us. This included, as she said, the rules.

“Now we have to have rules, don’t we?”

The audience was mostly quiet.

“All right, Chicago, hold up your cellphones and your cameras.”

There was some reluctant movement in the crowd.

“I’m really surprised that so many people from Chicago don’t have cellphones. Come on now.” She had a cute Cardiff accent and it amused me that I recognized where it was from as she was talking.

“Now….the rules. I want you to take your cameras…”

The crowd held a collected breath, waiting to be told to put their cameras away. There was a certain sadness to it, a disappointment; you could feel it rolling through the crowd that clearly, clearly, clearly wanted to be able to take pictures of this event.

“And…”

Everyone was holding their breath.

“Now take my picture; that’s right, come on!” And she turned and bent prettily for everyone to snap pictures of her.

“I want you to take as many pictures as you damn well want. And I want them posted on Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram, and Vine. Take videos. Broadcast the whole damn show!” Which of course was met with many cheers and much picture snapping.

From there she announced the sets. The entire show was set up to basically be spoofs of a variety of movies and TV shows, which was a nice theme for a burlesque show. And of course because it was my birthday, probably, the first set was to “Just Dropped In” from The Big Lebowski with a very cute set of girls recreatingin a much more amusing fashionthe bowling pin Viking dream. It all became a blur of pretty girls stripping off over me. We saw much vortex being displayed on the stage, as well as several very interesting reenactments of a variety of things. I don’t know what the second set was supposed to be a reenactment of, but it included a bottle of whiskey. Bozwho I had hit it off with backstage over our matching pink outfitsand, truly, all the girls, made a point of standing over me at least once during every set. Boz made a special point of pouring whiskey directly into my mouth (or down my dress) at least three times during her set.

Clearly, having gone backstage earlier the girls recognized me, and since we had had our girly moment backstage, now that they were in full-on performance mode, they were making sure that I got extra attention. It was a nice touch; the whiskey was just a bonus.

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