Monday, December 09, 2013

Six Boys and the Suicide Girls

The special-events package I had told me to get there at 7. I got there at 7. I went to grab the will call and picked up my Suicide Girls VIP laminate, which guaranteed that I would be treated like a VIP. I was okay with that. Feeling like a rock star in my thigh-high black boots, short Suicide Girls birthday dress, and now rocking my VIP laminate, I was ready for the show to get started.  

At the front of the House of Blues, downtown Chicago division, I waited with a small gang of about four other people, who were also clearly there with the VIP passes waiting for the VIP greeting with the girls. When buying the ticket I debated the “Eat Dinner with the Suicide Girls” show package, but decided that I didn’t need that much Suicide Girls, so I opted for the “Backstage Meet and Greet with Picture” package instead. I like pictures.  

The Suicide Girls (in case you are either not familiar, have never seen internet porn, or don’t know what girls with tattoos look like with their clothes off) is an outfit that basically caters porn aficionados who like girls with tats, piercings, and hair in a variety of colors. While the intent of the Suicide Girls web content is primarily to serve as alternative to mainstream porn, the reality is that the girls are very similar to mainstream porn girls in the size/shape factor, but are more interesting because they have tattoos and piercings. I’m okay with that. It does generally tend to be more artistic and slightly more avant-garde than Hustler without being the wishy-washy Barbie porn of Playboy, and yet doesn’t fall over the barrier into your gutter-porn variety of say a Swank, or an [insert name here] crappy porn site. It’s not Dita von Teese but it will do.  

The Burlesque show was mostly just a bonus.  

After waiting around in the front of the House of Blues for about fifteen minutes, one of the gentlemen that had paid for the VIP package started to get really antsy. He started in with the whole “I paid for…it said…they are…” I just smiled. I figured they’d get to us when they got to us and I was going to have fun no matter what. Mr. I-Paid-For went on for about five more minutes before the backstage manager came to get us for our meet and greet. Apparently there were only seven of us who had paid for the meet with picture.  

Six men and me.  

As the men got their pictures scanned they all took surreptitious looks at me. I just smiled my best badass smile.

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