Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Pleasure Boss

When one sets out for dildos, one really should go to the Pleasure Chest.

We walked in with time still left on the clock and immediately the entire vibe was different. Aside from the fact that the Chest is literally three times the size of Babeland, our helpful queer-friendly, perky and knowledgeable clerks were actually happy to see us, even if the shop was closing in 30 minutes.

“Do you know what you are looking for?”

“Oh, all sorts of things.”

We browsed through floggers and whips and canes, which always makes me happy, got a price check on a couple of nice slappers, then went to check out the dildos. They have an extra-large collection of Fun Factory silicone toys and I happen to be a fan of the Fun Factory anyway.

“This one is very popular.”


“Yeah, it’s called the Boss!”

The Boss is magenta and all angles and very exciting to look upon.

“It leaves pretty much everybody a satisfied customer.”

The Boss looked like he was not the sort of dildo that would take anything less than complete satisfaction for an answer.

“My god look at the color.”

And yeah, really, this was the most magenta of all the magenta dildos ever. This was a prize piece of shiny happy coloring, and along with the name made this the best of all possible dildos in the world.

“It kinda is something else.”

“Just the weight of it!”

“You should totally get it!”

“What are you getting?”

My eyes were taken in by entirely differently pretty in slightly less fabulous shades of pink, called the Magnum.

“I’m feeling sort of fond of this guy right here. I wanted to get it last time.”

“I can see that.”

“It’s not as girthy as the Boss, but possibly a better fit for me.”

“Knowing you….”

The knowing look was among other things the truth that my vagina has a mind of her own sometimes, and is not above throwing an absolute tantrum when she wants to get rid of something.

“Yeah, I’m going with this one.”

Our helpful clerk-tress also gave advice on a few additional toys, some good lubes, vibrators and invited us to classes if we had time while in the city. Then we spent another 10 minutes gossiping about bitchy-mc-smells at Babeland.

“Oh yeah, I used to work there. It’s really gone downhill, tell me more!” So we shared, paid for our new friends, and then fled into the night, almost directly into a cab, and found ourselves home, warm and celebratory with our separate wins for the evening.

Amusingly enough we were too tired to do much more about it than be solidly amused with ourselves before falling to sleep. However, before her visit was out, we would discover that the Boss was indeed a force to be obeyed.

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