Thursday, July 23, 2015

Love that Breaks Your Heart

The emergency room is in Midtown, and not far from my own doctor, across from a place where I have taken in some lovely dance. We walk in. The young lady asks if she can help me.

“We were referred here by our vet.”


I turn around so she can see the dog chilling out in the backpack.

“Oh my gods, he is so cute.”


The put us in another little room and I coax the dog into my lap where I sit, read a book, and try not to completely lose my shit again, but I’m on the edge. I love this damn dog and I know that losing him is going to be problematic, but I also know that pets die. I keep remind myself that, but I all I want to do is cry and find some way to help my dog live forever.

The vet comes in and I lay the story down on him. He listens, takes it all in and finally recommends an MRI.

“It will let us know what is going on. We’ll be able to see things, though really what he needs is an ECG.”

I order the MRI first so we can get a look at what is going on. They come in and collect my dog, who has had a rough night already. Tino, usually so good for people when being poked and prodded is at about the end of his rope. I sit in the waiting room not knowing what is going on when Hellion comes in.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“Is he okay?”

“I don’t know yet.”

We sit, we wait. Finally they call me back in to talk to the vet. They have an x-ray.

“I’m sorry that took so long. I had to work things out with the x-ray technician and we had a long discussion.”

“So, what is the verdict?”

“Well, his heart is very large.”


“They are doing an MRI now and I’ll know more soon.”

The vet tech eventually comes back to me with a completely doped up dog.

“He kind of freaked out on the table so we gave him something to calm him down. It also stopped his cough right away.”

The dog was frozen with his tongue stuck half way out. He needed a haircut, and that was our original plan for today, he looked tired but calm, so calm. My heart was breaking for him.

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