Thursday, March 16, 2017

If you really loved me...

From January 2017

If you really loved me and you ever heard me say the words "if you really loved me..." than I hope you would stop me right there and point out the dark path of hurtful manipulation that will only continue to the end of the relationship.

They are words that are so easy to say, but they are words that are designed to destroy any love another might have for you. Why? Because as soon as you begin that statement you immediately convert your relationship into a sum game. Love has to be "proven" with actions that will appease the person calling into question the love.

The first time you do, say, give, buy or offer any other form of capitulation to prove your love exits and that it is real you begin to build up the little resentments. It also establishes the base value of a "love act" from which all other love acts must now exceed. The thing needed to prove that love you theoretically have for someone else will always get bigger and bigger until you find yourself wondering "when did love stop being enough when it was just me loving?"

Relationships are hard and tricky and need all kinds of balance. If you really love your partner than you will never need them to do something to prove to you they do.

You will just be.

early morning ramblings

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