Thursday, August 10, 2017

Snapping Chats

Dating in the digital age is some kind of forced dejavu that is almost impossible to escape sometime. The openings to conversation often range from "hey" to "want to fuck"? There is a tedium to it, and yet, with the way the world has changed, there are choices. Play the game or don't. 

Accept the game. 

I accept the game. 

The game has required learning how things work in digital time. The ever present asking if I have this app or that app. The requests that these be obtained. 

After a dozen attempts to get me to use snap chat, I gave it a bit of a go and immediately hated it. If there ever was a more wretched medium for communication, it has not been found. Snap chat has to be everything I hate about the digital age in one app. The entire concept is awful and contributes only to destroying any sense of reality. 

There is no object permanence anymore. 

Someone asked me, "you don't want to tell your story?" 

Acceptable question. My story is the only thing I have to tell, and I take a great deal of pleasure in the telling of it. The thought of constructing it only to lose it, to have it disappear into the ether, forgotten, lost, as if it was not here. As if I was not here. 

The lack of connection with my past thoughts and words. Perhaps it is a narcissism that I so very much want to be connected. To remember what has been forgotten, lost and buried under the banality of million ever present realities vying for attention in the front of the mind. All these things that feel so important, and all those things in the past that are captured because there was a moment to commit them. 

The thought of typing nothing but void speak, to be lost, to be gone...

As if you were never here. 

There is an evil in it that makes me feel sorry for all those words that shall never contribute to the ever developing story. 

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