Monday, February 03, 2020

New Years

2018 ended.

2019 began.

2019 ended.

2020 began.

2019 was the fastest year, the most complicated year, the most jam packed year of living. I should have known from the beginning it would be so complicated.

2018 ended in bed, in the arms of the Gambler, in happy moments of stolen amusement before a show that would easily not end before midnight. Happy and amused, I dragged us across town for the end of year show, maybe the end of the world show.

The beginning of 2019 heralded great strife.

I left my phone with security when we got to the venue. I had to go back for it, amused. At least I knew it was in good hands.

Together the gambler and I greeted the friends in the band that we knew we would soon see on stage. We had come for the Mucca Pazza show, the Chicago marching band, who were closing out the old year and opening the new with marching band music. Mucca Pazza is a collection of all the old marching band members who liked playing then and want to continue playing now. Like the marching band of my youth, the modern day grown ups are much the same. Gender non-conforming, queer, high, silly, goofy, misanthropes and misfits and the color guard, not quite cheerleaders, probably all a bunch of lesbians and gays and non-off us caring a goddamn wit. Modern day me remembers Ancient Marching band me, and this is on par. Mucca Pazza is the marching band grown up, grown out, grown loud and grown proud.

We stand on a rail to watch and Chicago floods in. The horns blare the drummers keep up the pace, the color guard encourages our laughs and our cheers and our uncoordinated dancing. We give them every letter they want to spell out naught words and chant phrases of power that only those who have spent a life living on the counter of norm culture, who have become adults participating in norm culture, and adult who still secretly live their lives underground, we cheer for who we are all together and unashamed because what other kinds of people would start the year at with an alternative Marching Band.

I kissed the Gambler at midnight at the close of 2018 and the start of 2019 and new I was going to be in for a hell of a year.

2019 did not disappoint.

The end of the year, was as frenetic as the beginning. I ran, hand in hand through a sea of humanity to celebrate with fire and sparkles and a city exploding for my entertainment.

There are so many stories that should be told, so many stories being made, the years ending and beginning in wildness and joy and becoming precedents for the years to follow.


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